C'mon Rags...

You weren't always immune.

Rags - Honestly, I think it's because your contempt of Spermclan and your toughness on your kid gives you the "street cred" that seems to be needed. You are not too soft on SS. You can't stand the spermidiot. You are happy and supportive in your marriage. You are just the right amount of happy versus miserable that is palatable.

That's my guess.... as uneducated as it is! And you being a guy - and this site in sore need of testosterone definitely helps.

I think part of it is you have "junk". But I do remember back in the day when you did catch your fair share of hell.

I think it probably has a little to do with gender, a little to do with how eloquently you demand the bistering of kids asses when appropriate and a little to do with the fact that posters are probably intimidated by you.

I have always found your posts to be very intelligent,straight forward and hilarious when you mention the sperm Clan. You don't go overboard with your suggestions...unless you are kidding

You have helped me several times. Sometimes when it wasn't even my post.

I have decided to snark you!! (Just so you don't feel left out) :O

Rags in all the craziness of our steplives, it is a huge relief to hear you stand tall and call it like it is. How many SMs here wish they could hear their own DHs stand up for them like this? You just remind us that it's still possible. And thank you!

Rags - since you are universally respected, and referenced Crayon's blog... I would like to ask you... What do you think the shift in the flavor is... and WHY do you think it has happened?

If I am reading you correctly, you agree that there has been a shift in flavor and I take that as - reactions from one member to another.

What I am not sure how you feel about is what you think has caused the shift. Please correct me if I am wrong. But I didn't think you were agreeing that it is because there is an influx of BM's with agendas, or stepmoms-in-name-only. Did you agree with that part of the blog as well? And if not, what do you think it is?

What do you mean you caught flack??? I've ALWAYS agreed with EVERYTHING you've said. Actually, despite how you and I started, you happen to be one of my favorite posters. And, I've never had an issue with anything you actually say; just some of your terms. But, I accept that as part of your charm. That and (OMG, I can't believe I'm going to admit this) I thing exFH is a spermidiot, too, and in fact, that is initially what he wanted to be. But, I was so stuck on this idea that he was getting the shaft just because he's male, that I couldn't see past the end of my own nose. Now, that being said, I really do think some guys get the screwed royally because they are male. But, like you, I admire people for their character and honesty, and ability to own it when one makes a mistake. That's part of why I do like you. You remind me of my dad, actually. Although, I believe you are younger than him.

Tough love hurts doesn't it? I don't think you need to change the way you speak to get your point across. If its a little harsh then maybe that what some people need to hear. Just cause some people don't like harsh doesn't mean it isn't needed sometimes even if your hurting.

Just a question...So now that step parent to 3 is gone, its another persons turn to "get it" "flamed"? Do you guys just go from person to person and pick out their flaws that you think they have? Why can people just comment on someones post and let the OP handle it?

For me it's simple. I tend to not read your blogs. I disagreed (quite publicly) with your baring the bare ass blog but most of the time I don't even read your blogs OR your replies to blogs. I see your name and I scroll right on past.

Before I started not clicking on your blogs I read enough to get a sense of your online persona. None of what I saw pushed any of my buttons, ie, you weren't making up outrageous, detailed stories that fly in the face of reality and expecting that everyone was so stupid that they'd believe it and you weren't sitting in judgement of people telling them how awful they are when they vent. You weren't pretending to be a peacemaker by inserting yourself into skirmishes and publicly pretending to want the fighting to stop while privately PMing all around to cause even more of a divide among posters. With a few exceptions you didn't create blogs under the premise of discussing the problem with personalities on the site when your real agenda was to cause even more problems and keep the focus on yourself.

The reason I don't read most of your posts is that while I may often agree with your underlying message I'm not entertained by your bluster and the frequent fishing for compliments. The 'tough guy' act is huge turn off for me and I don't think it's sincere. I came to the conclusion early on that any gems that might be found in your posts weren't worth wading through the BS, at least not for me. IRL you may be nothing like the image I've created in my mind but it doesn't really matter. As long as nobody else is being hurt I believe in a live and let live philosophy. There are things about your posting style that I don't like but I don't see a danger to others in it so mostly I just ignore you. You have a right to create any online persona you choose to create and unlike some people here I don't insist that everyone be the way I think they should be or post the way I think they should post UNLESS I think they are playing a game or saying something that could harm someone else. On those rare occasions where I did read something you had written and I thought it was wrong enough to warrant comment, like the idea that it's OK for a grown man to bare the ass of a teenage girl and 'beat her', I don't hesitate to say so. Otherwise I don't find you offensive enough to bother commenting nor do I find you wise enough to comment in a positive way. What you say is of no consequence to me for the most part.

Dear Rags - I enjoy reading your posts and I find the way you talk and tell your story and voice your frustration is very similar to my Dad. I respect your opinion just like everyone else's and if I have something of value, I add it. If I don't, I let it alone. A lot of the folks here are so quick to pick apart a blog, that is usually written in the heat of anger, frustration, and despair, and some people understand that, others don't and just keep picking apart the blog in an effort to prove the OP as being wrong. Whatever. It's a vicious cycle and the only way it stops is when we allow it to.

I haven't read much but i like having a mans opinion because they tend to avoid taking sides.they will state their opinion for the most part no matter who disagrees with them.not taking sides helps keep the male opinion objective and valuable.many women have that emotional loyalty thing that sometimes holds them back from staying objective.that's not ALL women though!just some and not all men can stay objective and not take sides.but from the few men i've had in my life i saw they were better at being objective than the women around me.i can always count on my male friends to put the smack on me if i'm being dumb just like they would do to any of my other girlfriends.my girlfriends on the other hand,tend to pick sides and won't necessarily be as open with telling you that you're being dumb.they tend to try to find something to identify with and that keeps the objectivity on shaky ground.

I personally try not to blast anyone on this site. That being said, I respect your opinions because you offer a glimpse into the male perspective and you have many years of experience on your side. I know that you have helped raise your SS since he was very young and he is now graduated from high school. I also know that you have a good relationship with your SS so you must be doing something right. I like your no-nonsense approach to stepparenting.

I confess I ignore several posters I feel are in their own little world or a little strange or needy somehow, and that we will never relate or understand each other, and that is fine by me, so I just keep going.

I don't have many SD issues that I care to discuss at this time due to privacy concerns, but am still a stepparent and value having you all to share that with, and maybe being criticized or boring is just a hazard of writing your story (not saying anyone in particular is not of interest!). but does explain Crayon's appeal to many, she is intelligent and interesting to read. (go crayon!!)

I am a person who wants to support others, not really interested in telling everyone over and over again that they are the source of their own problems, which isn't everyone, dur. A LOT of people I am too polite to say what I really think of their situation because it would only hurt them, and do no one any good as their goose was cooked long before IMO, and now they just have to live with it like we all do.

I don't think stabbing people in the heart is beneficial to anyone except the stabber. I don't like problems or arguing and I don't want any problems or arguing, I get enough of that in work, real life relationships, driving down the street, etc. to me this is a place of support and no one knows your situation but you so they have no right to judge and I don't judge them either, or bore people with my ill-informed opinion.

Rags I do think you do have the benefit of being male, being custodial, being successful in your career, which make a lot of situations seriously in your favor, ergo not much to argue on your blogs - but you have worked hard to achieve (some of them anyway, can't choose gender, etc.), value and share personal growth, etc. so I do respect your opinion.

Also I notice that you are always respectful even when you disagree, which is wonderful!. Sometimes you speak a little formally but I like that because I am like that too, it makes your message clear. I often get a good chuckle from your input!! so thanks and that is why I feel no need to argue with you dear