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DH looking at pics of BM on FB

newmommy05's picture

Submitted by newmommy05 on Mon, 09/16/2013 - 5:03pm

I'm trying to come to the conclusion whether or not this is a big deal..I saw on our shared computer's history that DH has been looking at pics of BM on fb which led to another site that had her "modeling". It wasn't pornographic but some were a bit racy with her straddling a rock in a very low cut top and boots. It just makes me uneasy. I've written before on my blog about how DH emotionally cheated on me with her at the beginning of our relationship. I guess it's still in the back of my mind. How do I get past this???

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Bojangles's picture

Submitted by Bojangles on Tue, 09/17/2013 - 1:36am

This about sums it up. BM left him for another man and on some level he has not got over it. If he had healthy closure with her and was fully invested in you he would not be browsing through risqué pictures of her. You need to calmly point out to him that sitting around looking at sexy pictures of his ex when they split up 7 years ago is not healthy behaviour. And it is certainly not respectful to you. Try really hard to stay calm and do not let him laugh it off as your problem, because that will just be deflection on his part. If he says you're insecure or you have the problem patiently reiterate that this is his problem, if he had closure over BM he would have no interest in her FB activities or her modelling pictures, and it's damaging to your relationship. He knows how it feels to be cheated on, how would he like it if he caught you looking at sexy pictures of an ex, when you had previously shared explicit texts with that person?

IslandGal's picture

Submitted by IslandGal on Mon, 09/16/2013 - 10:41pm

lmfao!! This is brilliant!!!

You GOTTA do this!! I would kill to see the look on his face!