I have to admit
that I'm a little jealous of the people whose blogs I read here who have skids who actually go home someplace else most of the time. My SD is here 24/7. Her dad is not involved in her life at all so we have her full-time. As I mentioned in a previous post, I recently (like a couple of months ago) demanded date night so that my partner and I would actually have some alone time together. SD13 is very needy for her age and has issues due to her dad not being involved in her life. My partner decided to let her do a home-study program through a local school district after she had trouble at school this last year. That has really been a mistake. SD is more dependent on my partner than ever and really doesn't have any friends anymore. I don't think it's healthy for a girl her age to not have friends to spend time with. Her problem is there is something wrong with every person she meets--they're either weird or they're mean to her (most often the latter). I don't believe it's possible for every kid to be mean to her. Give me a break.
Anyway, SD was already really needy before she quit going to school but now seems to depend on her mom to be her everything. I've tried talking gently to my partner about the situation (suggesting any parenting stuff to her is touchy) and it looks like she is going to enroll her back in the local public school when the new quarter begins. Thank goodness! I swear if it really happens I'm going to go celebrate. It will be good for us AND good for her. I work from home so I get to see/hear her all day long, too. She required her to play basketball on the school team because she can't do PE by distance and that has been good for her, too. I am not close to SD and even have really bad feelings towards her at times because of her behavior, but I can't help but care about her as a kid who is missing out on so much by isolating herself at home.
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I agree kids NEED
I agree kids NEED socialization with other kids...even if they're homeschooled they should be involved is some kind of church youth group or sport...just try getting her to try more things so she can find something she likes to do and make friends. I know it must be really hard to live with a SK full time with no breaks
I agree if you work at home though, home schooling is probably not the smartest move.
"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"
Boy Have I Been There!
If you read some of my previous blogs-it took all of my energy to get DH to the point where he is today.
SS16 is now in skiing, school and works part-time and actually has a few friends-he is still VERY dependant on DH and prefers to be at home-Like most of the blogs your read about DH's and their daughters-my situation involved a son-who would literally hang off his father (who works at home) 24/7-DH and SS's BM stunted this child terribly as he was their only together and virtually kept him an emotional baby (thumbsucking and all) until very recently! DH and I first had Zippy every other week (that has it's challenges)-then EVERY weekend (I hated that one) and when his BM was no longer interested in having Zippy-she dumped him full time on our doorstep and we have had him for the past 2 years 24/7 (HARD). DH and I fought big time over parenting and now I mostly disengage in the parenting aspect as DH finds my style hard (I have raised two independent, working, educated sons as a single Mom, but what do I know?)I too tried to be "nice" in the parenting discussions -however I had to be blunt in the end -I try to make marriage a priority and have fun together time and ignore the rest-sometimes it gets to me.
Really sad SD life is passing her by-and having her around 24/7 is draining to say the least. Glad you instituted date nights-and try to take as much time with your partner alone as you can. I find the less stress and fun you have on date nights the more your partner will relax and put the relationship 1st, at least for awhile. I am still working on the resentment part-but this site helps me put that into perspective!
Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!
Madrasta... I know how hard that can be...
My SD is very needy, although not as bad as Endora's Zippy! And my BS is pretty needy too. DH and I just started date night and I started taking a dance class with my mom once a week. Sometimes I need to get away from bkids, skid, AND DH!! It's been a HUGE stress reliever!
For your SD's sake she needs to socialize. My BS11 would never leave my side if I didn't make him. He has almost crippling shyness but the only way to overcome that is for him to put himself out there. Ever since he was little, I've tried to put him in situations where he had to interact with other people. I started by making him order his own meal in a restaurant, etc. At 13, your SD faces many challenges. Being a 13 yo girl sucks, especially when you're socially awkward! Maybe she could join some sort of mentoring group. She could volunteer to read to younger kids or tutor them or something. That would give her something to do on her own (w/o mommy) and would be an environment that she felt she had more control over. It's far less indimidating than trying to immediately fit into an already established social network at school. Once she gains some confidence there, maybe the next steps will be easier. Just my two cents.... I'm much better at raising other people's children than my own!
I do not know
how you guys do it! I cry and dread whenever Blabb comes over... and in just two days Blabb can drive me up the wall. I can't imagine what it would be like to have her everyday! Though... we did have her for three weeks last summer.
But yeah... having Blabb full time? I would go insane.
DH wants to take BM back to court when Blabb turns 12 because at that age she can choose who to live with. And DH wants full custody of her. :/ I'm not sure if Blabb would want to leave her mommy because mommy gives her EVERYTHING... but let's just say I'm not looking forward to Blabb's 12th birthday.