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OT - Bittersweet Weekend

lieutenant_dad's picture

The conflicting emotions of the weekend have got me all kinds of screwy.

On Saturday, we unexpectedly had to put my sweet pup to sleep. She was 15 years old, and I had her for 13 years of her life. She was with me through college, my first divorce, several moves, and new marriage. I had hoped Baby Girl was going to get to meet her, but my pup had other plans. She had been sick and in pain for a while, but the end hit very suddenly. DH and I have been crying off and on. It's the little things that are getting to us - like opening the blinds to the back door, worried we'll step on her in the night since she would sleep in front of the bathroom door, not having to wake up or be home at certain times to feed her. This absolutely sucks.

Then today, we had to put on brave faces for the baby shower. We had so many folks show up to show us love and support. It was a great distraction, and we had a lot of fun. But coming home just hurt like hell without having sweet pup run to the door to check on what was going on.

I'm trying to get all the grief out of my system. I have to get in the right headspace for Baby Girl. It just hurts that I've lost such a big part of my life and family.

Comments

CajunMom's picture

I have come to believe that the grief of loosing a beloved pet is no different than the grief of loosing a human. I lost my dear boy 19 months ago. The first few months were pure hell. While a lot better now, we often speak about him and his pictures are all over our home. I still have occasional cries. He was a special little guy who took me through some tough life events. As I am sure your little girl was so special to you.

I got a lot of resourses from my Vet's office and was surprised to see the LSU Vet School has multiple sources available, even counselors! Gave me lots of comfort knowing that pet grief was actually recognized. I'd suggest checking the web pages of your state's colleges with Vet schools for reading and resourses. And of course, the LSU page is open to all.

Above all,  I send you lots of love and comfort on the loss of your precious fur baby. Give yourself all the time you need to grieve. It does get better...slowly. But you will never forget her. Hugs and prayers of comfort to you and your family.

AlmostGone834's picture

CanjunMom - I am so afraid of getting flamed for saying it but I truly feel like for some people losing a pet is like losing a child. I have no children of my own and our animals are like our children. When we lost one of our cats over the summer I was actually scared DH would never get over it (and to be honest it wasn't even his favorite cat, so I have no idea how he's going to handle it when that one eventually passes). 

CajunMom's picture

I was worried what friends would think of my long grief walk. Got great validation from my Pastor when he offered his sympathies. Said he'd grieved the loss of his dog more than some people he lost. And that was me. My sweet boy and all my fur babies give me unconditional love.  My kids are grown and gone, living life, as they should. My fur babies......that's my kids now. Big hugs to you.

JRI's picture

I read somewhere that when we lose a human, we have naturally had all those love/hate emotions, the ups and downs, throughout the relationship.  But when we lose a pet, it's been all love.  

So sorry for you, it's tough

 

AlmostGone834's picture

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's incredibly painful when we lose one of our furbabies. I think the most accurate description I've ever heard is that it's like a huge hole in your life. Things you used to do... certain routines you've come to expect... are no longer there. We lost one of our cats in July and both my husband and I were in a bad way for quite a while. It takes time, but eventually the hole will start to fill in. It will never be *completely* full - I don't believe that time fully heals all wounds - there will always be a bit of a "crater" left behind so to speak when we lose someone we love ... but mostly the emptiness is gone. Sending warm thoughts  your way. *hug*

grannyd's picture

I’m so very sorry to hear of your loss! My DH and I married in our late thirties, after our children were launched, and our wee Shih-Tzu/Poodle became our child. She was in her seventeenth year when we lost her and our grief was almost unbearable. Only dyed-in-the-wool dog lovers understand the pain of losing a beloved fur-baby. 

 

Undoubtedly, your hormonal state is exacerbating your misery but Baby Girl has proven herself to take things in her stride so a few days of Mommy heartache and tears will be forgiven. Poor you! Trust me, Hon, you’ll be in my thoughts a great deal tonight and they’ll be combined with virtual hugs aplenty. 

StepUltimate's picture

Your sweet pup had a wonderful life with you, and I know very well how empty & big the house is when they're gone. Pup is no longer suffering, and I pray your grief will evolve into joyous memories of the time you had with that dear, sweet friend.

(((HUGS)))

SteppedOut's picture

I am so sorry. It's incredibly difficult to put the brave face on when you just lost your friend, your family, particularly with heightened hormones. 

I too recently had to say goodbye to my sweet puppa girl also. She was old and had bad arthritis in her front leg from an injury when she was younger. I knew it was coming, but when the moment came that I knew it was time hit me like a train. I had a long weekend, but had to go to work on Tuesday (new position, had only been with the company a month).

We had been through so much - I had her since she was 8 weeks old. In so many different ways, she had saved me through the years. Honestly it was like losing a sibling. My younger son (6yrs) is very much still struggling also. She had been there his whole life; he simply doesn't know life without her and misses her terribly. 

Hold tight to the love, it's ok to grieve her loss. Your baby doesn't sense only the sadness, but the great love as well. 

PetSpoiler's picture

I'm so sorry!  I know it hurts.  We just lost a cat a few days ago.  She was only 11years old.  I feel like now I just don't want to get any more cats.  We have one kitty left and I don't plan on getting another.  I may change my mind later but right now I'm thinking no.  It hurts too much to lose them and I'm tired of losing pets.  I lost two guinea pigs last year, then losing a kitty too?  Too much.  Pets aren't just pets.  They are family.  

TheAccidentalSM's picture

Give yourself permission to take the time to grieve.

Cover1W's picture

Give rose

 

bananaseedo's picture

I'm so very sorry for your loss!  Losing our beloved pets is an inexplicable grief.  My heart goes out to you....even when they are old and you know it's coming, it is never easy.  I wish you comfort and healing during this time.  

I'm so sorry also your little girl couldn't meet your faitful friend!   Glad the shower went good and that it was a distraction.

HUGS to you lady!!! 

Birchclimber's picture

I am so sorry for the loss of your little pal.  Be sad, grieve, and be patient with yourself.  There is no easy way to deal with the pain of loosing a family member that gave you unconditional love and companionship.  Hugs...

Dawn-Moderator's picture

It sucks bad!!!  It is going to take awhile to heal.

I've lost 5 fur babies in 4 years, the most recent this past Aug. 

Big hugs to you......