Another day, another breath
I have decided that I am going to stick this out because while things are bad, I can handle them and my bf is worth it. He is trying everything in his power to fix this situation and we are supporting each other through a hard time. I do not want to leave him and it really pisses me off that the ex is trying to break us up. I hate to say this and I really don't mean how it is going to sound, but I would almost stay right now just to spite her and show her that you can do what you want because I will not be going anywhere.
Today my bf's mom called and said the BM called her and wanted to have a sit down and explain her side of the situation. I cannot believe it. She is the most manipulative person I have ever met! I'm glad to say that when bf's mom called she told us she will be seeing the BM in court and will not need any sit down with the likes of her. This turned my frown upside down. She then went on to say that she will be joining my bf at court and so will his sister. I am amazed at how supportive his family is of me and how accepting they have been through all of this.
I do have a question through all of this though. Should I be going to court? I definitely want to be there, but i'm pretty sure at this moment in time it is not completely for the right reasons. I want to see her face when she looses in court and stand by my bf and say now what. What other threats have you got. You tried to get more child support every year and have gotten denied. You have threatened to call the police and did and nothing came out of it. You have taken DD away and turned her against her own dad (hopefully sooner or later she will learn the truth about what is really going on) and now you have taken him to court and lost. You are all out of threats. My bf and myself are done with these games, we are moving on, and if you have a problem with it- tough shit.
The only reason I think that I wouldn't go to court is if it wouldn't help his case. I know my name will be coming up because i'm the problem and everything, but would it be a bad thing for me to go? I have never been through a custody hearing and was wondering if there was any chance that the judge would want to see me or ask me questions? Has anyone ever been through this and if so what I should prepare for?
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Comments
Have your BF ask his
Have your BF ask his attorney.
My DH attorney wanted me to
My DH attorney wanted me to go and had us all prepared last time he was going to court. Simply because I am around him and the kids a lot and would be a good character witness. They ended up settling right before court tho. The only way it could hurt is if you have something in your past that could be bad or if you lost your cool while being questioned. His attorney had us shut down our Facebook for a while beforehand and everything just so there was nothing to be looked at. You wouldn't believe how the simplest thing can get turned around! Ask the attorney first and go from there.
Not everyone may agree with
Not everyone may agree with me on this, but I don't think a man should involve his gf in his own child custody battles. And it doesn't sound like your bf has necessarily involved you yet. It sounds like you want to be involved.
I understand wanting to help the case but, I just think there's some risk of putting yourself in harms way if you got directly involved in the court proceedings. If nothing else, you'd put yourself in the line of fire of the BM or the skids, possibly not helping the case.
And remember, your bf's attorney represents your bf's interests, not your interests. Sure, I'm certain if my SO was involved in a custody battle and his attorney thought an emotionally and financially stable woman would help his client's case, his attorney would love for me to testify as a character witness, but that would not necessarily be in MY best interest. I could be impeached with Lord knows what kind of personal information and I'd have to answer truthfully, and it would be public record! I would never want to subject myself to cross examination by BM's attorney, and have it be made public record. I have my own career to think about.
Now what I've said above is certainly a worst case scenario and might not happen, but you never know.
And this is why I don't ever want to date someone with young kids and a crazy BM.
One of the big reasons I committed to my SO is that he's past all the custody craziness. Except for his 16 yo, his kids are all grown, so this isn't an issue, thankfully. I know my limits and a nasty custody battle that has nothing to do with me would exceed those limits. But that's me.
Man, custody battles can get really bad really quick, and the BMs take no prisoners in so many of these cases that I read about. I would definitely want to stay out of it if I could.
^^^^ exactly.
^^^^ exactly.
After reading all the
After reading all the comments and talking with my bf I have decided not to be there. He told me that it is okay if I do not go and that if they want to talk to me, they will let me know. He said that the lawyer will be there speaking for him and that is enough for him and that he didn't even want his mom or sis to go. Hopefully this turns out well. Fingers and toes crossed.