Is it really worth it? I no longer think so. Anyone who says "well, just ignore it...it'll get better" Obviously has not dealt with the crap I have put up with. I talked to my 9yr old today and just mentioned about going back to Texas (he always wants to go back) and he just started crying...because his dad wouldn't go...AHOLE DH of course can't move anywhere for fear he'll lose his job and end up in jail instead...so we have sacrificed and sacrificed so that he can have a freaking family...meanwhile, we sacrifice and I've lost myself. I've lost all my savings. I've lost it all. The only thing keeping me here is my son. I am tired. I am worn out. He's a nice person, but his past choices and even current ones continue to sacrifice the well-being of my son and me. And I just can't do this anymore. I can't think. I am constantly on the computer trying to get a little money, whether through Zazzle, CafePress, Squidoo...whatever...anything to make some money...I can't think anymore...and I would never have been in this situation had I not married this person with this crappy ex and daughter...and crappy family...I hate them all. I can't stand the thought of any of them. If I die tomorrow, I am terrified my son might be anywhere near them. I cringe just at the thought of my son having any relationship with these losers.

I need peace. I will never have it while I stay. This is not worth it. It's just not worth it. What do I do? What about my son crying because he doesn't want to leave his dad? I hate myself so much for staying for so long. I hate myself so much for believing that everything would be ok. It's not. It is worse every single year I stay. It only got better once and the witch and his loser daughter ensured that it didn't last long.

The idiot doesn't even know if his pathetic daughter is attending school. The more she fails, the longer this will continue. To top it all off, where we live, he MUST leave 1/3 of his inheritance (that includes any property we purchase together) to that loser daughter of his. That means if I spend ANY money on the property, the witch will get some of it anyway...I won't allow it. I could end up on the streets because of it and nobody would care. The only ones who benefit are the idiots who have kids at 15yrs of age and at 22yrs of age that couldn't afford to have kids to begin with. I hate it.

I have to find a job. I have to get out. I can't do this anymore. I just want to cry. I just want to run away. I just want to get the hell away from this nightmare I have been living in for 12yrs.