What to do
So I'm new to the stepmom thing. I've been trying to talk to my close family about it but they say I'm being unfair. Honestly I do not like my step kids. I guess it goes back to the beginning when their mom basically told me "they have a mom they don't need another one" so I stepped back and thought ok I'm done. Many other things happened prior to this but that was kind of my ok I'm out. So when then come over I get uncomfortable and anxious and I hate it. My husband is great with my kids but I've taught them to respect him. So basically my husband brought them on a Friday afternoon and he had to work Saturday morning. It is now Saturday and it's almost 12 and they haven't come out of their room. And honestly I don't even want to ask them if they want breakfast. They avoid me like the plague. I don't know what to do.
- cmcan6's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
My SS would frequently sleep
My SS would frequently sleep until noon as a young teen. It was great! And he could get his own breakfast when he got up.
You don't have to be a parent to them at all. Be kind and civil and let DH handle the rest.
Others will give you more
Others will give you more feedback but a quick summary:
You'll find those w/out skids will not understand. Avoid discussing skids with non-step parents.
Have you discussed this with your husband? Lack of boundaries, disrespectful attitudes? While it can be hard, a CALM discussion should take place of household expectations. You husband should be supportive of you. It took lots of thalking with my DH and that's what kept me going....plus
Disengagement. You have no responsibility without authority. Read Stepmonster (book). Get some perspective, read here. Your skids are a nightmare age. Don't cater to their attitude. Daddy can if he wants, but you have no part. You are not mom. Don't try to be a mom to them.
For them in their rooms....they are old enough to get their own breakfast. If you want, tell them clearly ONE TIME thst breakfast is ready. Then you are done. I did this with both breakfast and dinner with OSD, she knew when meals were and could get her rear to the dining table. I wasn't going to beg. When she complained to DH, I simply stated the facts and told him she's not 5.
Get some boundaries in place for yourself. What you want to do and are ok with and what you will not be able to put up with. Then hold to it.
don't kiss up. go about your
don't kiss up. go about your happy morning. make something that smells good. put a lid over the leftovers and leave on the counter. Take out some crafts or activity...puzzle, homade dough, or anything you can think of fun, then enjoy yourself and be occupied and eventually they will come out and when they do, dont pay too much attention to them, and dont encourage them to do stuff, keep your head down dont make too much eye contact...... just chill....treat them like a rescue dog that has had a hard life....dont want nothing to be precieved as a threat......if they lash out.... go to your room and shut the door....if they create damage to home, leave the mess and let DH handle it..... Move all your good shoes and stuff to the bedroom so they wont chew it up.